


The Actual Events of Code Crack

by AnimeBanshee, choasblast03



Series: The Code Crack Anthology [2]
Category: Code:Realize ～創世の姫君～ | Code: Realize - Guardian of Rebirth (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Angst, Angst and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Bubble Wrap, Character Death, Code Realize - Freeform, Collaboration, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack and Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy Ending, Herlock is a jerk, Humor, Humorous Ending, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Inappropriate Humor, Light Angst, Minor Character Death, No Smut, Self indulgence, Sexual Humor, Swearing, Typos, choasblast03, fic is complete it'll just be uploading oarts that takes time because this fic is long like this tag, impey is pure, impey never swears, invented by impey, maybe i wont, maybe ill fix em, nemo is awful, stay pure, stay pure fran, taken on a whole new path of history, this is a collab
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-04-30 14:37:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 17,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14499165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimeBanshee/pseuds/AnimeBanshee, https://archiveofourown.org/users/choasblast03/pseuds/choasblast03
Summary: WARNINGS!!SWEARING!!TYPOS!!SELF INDULGENCE!!BUBBLEWRAP!!Welcome to a wild ride adventure of Arwen, Kyoko, and Scarlett remastered with digital color and dolby digital surround sound.See the persceptive already on this account with the two others you have yet to see!SO MUCH BONUS CONTENT!!ENJOY!!!





	1. Beginnings

"Guys shhh! I hear someone coming,"  
A loud soldier barges in, Leonhardt, but they didn't know that yet.

"Why is he dressed like a bee?"  
"Shh kyoko"  
"Both of you hush."  
Scarlett deadpanned.

The man looks disgruntled before he found them.  
"There's three? I was led to believe the monster was... never mind"  
"What do we do sir?"  
A nervous newbie asked.  
"Take all three I suppose, better safe than sorry."

"Take us! I think not!"  
Kyoko stood, but Arwen slapped a hand over her mouth, holding her glove in her other hand as her fingers sizzled into Kyoko’s face.  
"We'd be glad to accompany you"  
Arwen mouthed a ‘trust me’ over her shoulder, ignoring the surprised gawks at the melting still occurring to both her and Kyoko.  
"Arwen."  
Scarlett jogged her to reason, drawing her hand back as Kyoko regenerated. And the burn marks healed on Arwen’s own hand.  
All three of them were the vessels of an infinite power source. This had it's consequences, they weren't touchable by anyone but themselves unless they used their gloves. Arwen’s skin has a poison that melts all it touches. Kyoko's skin sears everything it comes in touch with, and Scarlett freezes anything in contact with her skin.  
Multiple attempts were made to create a functioning vessel, but Isaac done fuqed up, three of them made it with different effects.

Arwen, Kyoko, and Scarlett can touch each other and instantly regenerate from the damage, but it seems they can still be injured by other things such as Arwen can still get burned on a hot stove and have the burn linger whereas Kyoko's third degree burns on Arwen’s flesh disappear almost immediately.

Anyway. While context was being explained to you shits, the three sisters were brought out of the mansion and taken to a carriage without a horse. They were pretty sure this contraption was called a car, but having been locked up for a while, they couldn’t be sure. Kyoko was still resisting. Scarlett seemed doubtful but gave Arwen the grace to trust her judgement. 

Not but a few feet into their journey down the road and Arwen heard a triumphant fanfare of trumpets. And a... saxophone? She peered out the window. Up on a tall ruin stood a figure. And she couldn’t help it. She had to swallow with her now dry throat when she looked at him. He introduced himself to the soldiers as Arsène Lupin.  
"Lupin"  
she whispered.  
Scarlett smirks.  
"Someone's crushing~ ow fuck!"  
Arwen smacked Scarlett with an ungloved hand, leaving a hand shaped dent in her arm, Kyoko snickering as the wound healed instantly.  
Arwen almost fainted when his eyes caught hers. She couldn’t even register his words, but she nodded gently to acknowledge she’d heard him. A moment later the group was surrounded by thick smoke. Confused cries heard from outside.  
"Arwen what did you do?"  
Scarlett looked out the other side window cautiously.  
Arwen just shrugged. Gaze drawn as she saw the figure appear in the smoke.  
"Hello~" He purred like Arwen’s sultry god. And Kyoko and Scarlett jumped before whipping around and Scarlett sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose.  
"I’ll ask again, what did you do?" She could practically hear Kyoko’s amusement, but Arwen was unnaturally silent. Concerned, Scarlett turned to look at Arwen only to smirk. Changing her gaze back to the newly appeared man, she suddenly saw it.  
Mysterious capey man with smooth voice = Arwen melted on all levels: Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually.  
"Oh~ Arwen's in love~" Kyoko taunted before said infatuated girl elbowed her in the side, earning a small "hey-!"  
Arwen opened the door, exiting the car.  
"Are you ready to go miss?"  
He reached toward her and she panicked.  
"You're poisonous correct?"  
He confirms. She nodded dumbfounded, quickly lifting her hand from the now melting door as She had forgotten to put her glove back on. Doing that quickly before Lupin grasped the newly gloved hand.  
"Your clothes are safe to touch, and your hair is too yes?"  
Arwen didn't even think to ask how he knows this much, just nodding like a drone and confirming his knowledge until he startled her to let out a squeak as he lifts her into his arms. He then looked into the window and saw Kyoko and Scarlett.  
"Three?"  
He asks.  
"Oh, yeah..."  
She chuckled nervously,  
"Arwen, don't drool on the nice man's coat."  
Scarlett teased. Exiting with a demure bow.  
"I'm not drooling!"  
The now embarrassed blonde shouted back. Kyoko decided to join before  
The joke went cold,  
"Say that to the wet spot"  
"There isn't a-"  
"Made you look"  
"Jerk."  
Arwen blushed heavily and was met with Lupin chuckling, his chest shaking her in his arms. Distracting the guards with a perfect impersonation of Leonhardt, he leads her sisters away from the royal guard while he kept her in his grasp. This wasn't in his plan, but a master thief is always prepared. Scarlett just shook her head. She felt like this is going to be the start of a long week, but at least Arwen was happy. Scarlett wondered if he had a sad background story to go along with that fancy ass cape?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: BUCKLE UP! IT'S GONNA BE A BUMPY RIDE!


	2. Wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Take to get some wishes my Gents

We gain distance and Lupin sets Arwen down, and she still avoided looking at him, Scarlett's comment still had her incredibly embarrassed. He seemed to have forgotten all about it.  
Still, this was a little weird in Scarlett's book, so she walked up to him and crossed her arms.

"Mr. Lupin-"

"Oh, it's just Lupin. Arsène Lupin."

"Alright Lupin, just what are you doing here?" The short female narrowed her eyes, ignoring Arwen's raised eyebrows. Scarlett also didn't need to look to see that Kyoko was mocking her movements as she spoke, but she'd gotten used to that a long time ago. 

The man gave Scarlett a once over before glancing down at Arwen, realizing she was just being the mom friend and making sure he wasn't going to stab her or something. He smiled a smile that Scarlett was sure would've liquified any other girl. Namely Arwen. Who became more of a puddle then she already was.

"I had heard stories of the monster that lived in these woods. I was curious, but it seems I've found my beasts." 

Ah. So he knew of their afflictions. The reason they lived alone in the woods.

What? Did you think it was for the trees? You would be wrong good sir/madame/amorphous blob whoever is reading. 

Scarlett frowned. "So, you're a hunter?"

He acted hurt, throwing a hand over his heart. "No! I am a thief! And I'm going to steal you all away!" 

She glanced over and saw Arwen gesturing for her to stop, heaving a sigh, slowly dropping the act. Fine. She wouldn't fight him. But Scarlett was sure the only reason Arwen stopped her was so that she could get a piece of him for herself, and not in a bad way either. Arwen wanted all the pieces.  
Lupin seemed to take this as his go ahead, taking a step back to bow to them all, Arwen's eyes shining like he was the midday sun. He turns, explaining his purpose in greater detail.

'Stealing her heart', a romanticized way to say, taking you for the stone in your chest. But Arwen took the sentimental value of the words more than she probably should’ve.  
"But I won't take it for free. I'll grant you a wish in return"

"Anything?"  
She inquired.

"Of course"  
Lupin smirks devilishly, Arwen's heart palpitating.  
"There's nothing I can't steal!"

"I think I know what she'll wish for"  
Kyoko whispers to Scarlett.  
"Really."  
Scarlett's gaze flicks to Arwen than back to Kyoko.

Arwen bit her lip nervously, thinking. She looked at Lupin, eyes trailing over his form. Then her gaze trails to the stars. A streak of white crossing the space between the treetops. Double wish then.  
"I want to touch you."

"See a world domina- wait whatthefuck?"  
Kyoko looks at the blonde with wide eyes.

Lupin's brows knit as she continued. They probably made an entire sweater before she finished. (Get it! Knit! Sweater! HAH! COMEDY! Come to think of it, why do people only say brows knit? I'm sure at least some crochet.)  
"I want to feel your warmth."

"A touch.."  
Lupin's face softens

“Thirsty,” An impish Kyoko commented.

“Shut up, Kyoko,” Arwen grumbled, “Not like it’ll be possible anyway.”

“I told you, nothing is impossible when it comes to me,” His voice breaks into laughter and Arwen visibly shivered. He was just plain godly. Shit!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: Swoon


	3. Puppy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's boiyo numero dos!!

Not to long into their journey, Arwen began to nod off. Lupin taking notice and scooping her up in his hold.  
“Easy.”  
He croons, the low tone sending her further into the realm of the sandman.  
While Arwen slept, they had just come into sight of a car and a loud yelling became apparent. A tall red-head bouncing out of the side door like an excited puppy. "LUPIN! You're back!" He froze when he caught sight of the three girls, eyes narrowing. "Oh you- Why do you always get the girls?"

There was some elegant sputtering from the thief, something along the lines of, “I’m wearing red,” falling from his lips that Arwen wanted to do things to so bad. However, Puppy was still confused.  
“But,wait, I thought you were going after the treasure! Don't tell me you-”

“No idiot, They are what we were after.”  
Lupin dipped his head, unable to pinch the bridge of his nose with both arms occupied.  
“Yeah. We ARE the treasure! Obviously!”  
Kyoko chimed in, leaving Puppy with so many questions, but he decided to just move on and go back to his happy-go-lucky self.  
“Oh. Alright. Welp, climb aboard!”  
This was accompanied by everyone crawling into the car and taking their seats whilst the Puppy got into the driver’s seat, still slightly confused. But that lasted only a second until he turned to see that one of the girls was the one in the passenger seat and not Lupin.  
"Hello Stranger." Kyoko greets.  
The man jumped.  
"W-what?! Do I... know you?" He asks, to which she shook her head adamantly.

"Nope, but you will. I'm Kyoko and I call shotgun."

He slowly nodded, confusion taking the back seat to his apparently normal enthusiasm. "Alright, I don't mind. But Lupin-"

"Doesn't seem to mind." Scarlett cut in, gesturing to the man whose soul focus was Arwen whose soul focus was Lupin and I swear to god those two are doing the whole love at first sight bit.

As Puppy slowly shrugged and started the engine, pulling away at a decent speed, Kyoko smirks.  
“So… this is a nice car. How fast can it go?”  
At that, the engine was soon amped up to a death defying speed, urged on by Kyoko. This is where time passed the quickest, with Scarlett barely hanging onto consciousness because of her sister’s reckless encouragement. Whoever invented this damn contraption better never give one to Kyoko or they’ll have a very short, and very angry female to deal with.  
“Alright that’s enough! Out of the front seat, now, I’m taking your spot!”  
Scarlett half hissed, yanking Kyoko over the seat and into the back, only narrowly missing hitting the two asleep in the back as the midget gracefully slid into the passenger seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlocked: [SPEED DEMON](https://youtu.be/TrFNsN2LWqQ)


	4. Checkpoint?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More car shinanigans then it's time to split my gents

By the time she came to, Arwen was in a foreign car traveling down the road, and she’s, much to her delight, pretty sure she’s on Lupin's shoulder. He smells nice. Arwen decides to just stay super still so she can stay there. 

She heard Scarlett and Kyoko conversing with a new voice she didn't recognize. But it seemed this new person got along well with Kyoko.  
"So how much further? Should we wake up the sleeping beauties yet"  
Scarlett's voice teased. Lupin's asleep?!  
"Nah, let 'em nap a bit longer, we've got a ways."  
That's the new voice. Who is that? Obviously they weren't kidnapped, Lupin wouldn't be sleeping if that were the case. 

Also what was that tune? It's oddly catchy, like if Arwen had to choose to listen to a piece of music her whole life this song would be up in the list of choices. it never seems to end but that doesn't matter because this song is the ultimate jam.

Scarlett turned around and caught that Arwen's eyes were open.  
"Oh hello Arwen. Enjoying your cuddle time?"  
The still groggy female give Scarlett a scowl but used her hand to nod as to not disturb Lupin's rest. After such a dazzling display yesterday evening, he was probably tired.  
Scarlett giggles.  
"Well since you're up, this is Impey."  
She gestures to the figure in the driver's seat. Arwen can't see anything but red hair from her spot on Lupin, but there is no way in fuck she was budging a micromilimeter. So she just acknowledged and let Scarlett continue speaking.  
"He's Lupin's mechanic, you were sleeping when he first arrived, surprise surprise."

Kyoko decides to chime in.  
"So Lupin put you in the back with him so you could rest. How sweet."

Impey speaks up abruptly.  
"I thought Lupin had ditched the mission when I saw you three, but apparently you guys are what we were after. Kinda funny actually."  
He trails off to himself.  
:Three of us, three of them. Hmm:

A ways down the road Lupin begins to stir, leading to the car taking a quick pit-stop for everyone to stretch their legs. Arwen flushing brightly as she watched his musculature ripple under his coat as he raised his arms to pop his back. Impey took the time to relax a little, snapping his goggles up on his forehead as he leaned against the vehicle.  
He patted the side of it, causing it to release a puff of smoke. “Oh god, what the heck is this thing doing now?”

“Hey, let's watch the fucking language,” Arwen joked at his use of ‘heck’.

He didn't hear her because he was too busy messing with the car, using technical and sophisticated practices such as shouting “WORK!”

Lupin watches his companion with a quirked brow, occasionally moving to shield Arwen from a blast of black smog sent from the engine. Eventually the putter of a working car echoed across the space and a grease and oil covered Impey stood up from where he was hunched over the engine, his back cracking in protest to him having been in that position for so long. Only to be choked by another blast of smoke. Arwen lifts her gloves to keep her face from making contact with Lupin’s cape as he protectively cocooned her once more. The thief coughing.  
“Impey Are you sure this thing will get us to London?”  
“Of course it will, she’s just a little temperamental that’s all”  
Impey replies, patting the hood of the car, seemingly unaffected by the carcinogenic cloud he just got forced to inhale. Kyoko perked up and went to get in the front once more, Scarlett catching her shoulder.  
“Oh no! You two breaking 190 miles an hour is probably what blew the engine in the first place.”  
Lupin cleared his throat to catch the group's attention.  
“I should take the front seat to keep a lookout, we’ll be in the city soon.”  
Arwen looked up at Lupin.  
“So much for having an engineer, huh?”  
She jokes.  
“GENIUS engineer,” Impey corrected, giving the car one last check over. “Okay we should be good. Everyone hop in.”

And off they go again. TO THE IMPEY MOBILE!!!  
*batman transition theme!*

Now the five of them were squished into the car, the girls all crammed in the back while Lupin got to enjoy the luxury of shotgun.

“So,” Kyoko leaned forward and rested her chin on the back of the front seat, “Tell me more about this nice vehicle you have.”

“Kyoko,” Scarlett tapped her shoulder. Kyoko did not acknowledge her because she’s a dumbass.

“Oh, well essentially it...” Impey then goes on to explain a bunch of cool car shit, but Kyoko doesn’t get to finish listening to him because Scarlett and Arwen are screaming at her.

“KYOKO!!!”

“WHAT?!” the frustrated woman finally shouted.

“The SEAT,” Arwen gestured to where Kyoko had propped her chin. The material was smoking and already had a significant hole burned through it.

“SHIT!” She exclaimed, furiously smacking the spot with a gloved hand, not that it did anything, “I’m sorry!”

“What?” Impey turned to see what was happening, as he had gotten caught up in talking about cars. “Oh. OH. Uh.... It’s.... fine. It’s fine!” He looked a little shocked that the burning incident had occurred mere inches away from his face.

Lupin, although concerned, seemed to find the situation amusing, “Goodness, you’re burning the man’s car and you’ve hardly known him for a day.”

Arwen giggles at his words as her cheeks flushed a little, causing her sisters to share a knowing look.  
Impey laughed, “Hey Lupin, you gotta save some for me.”

“It’s too late,” Kyoko whispered, “She’s been locked in. But don’t worry, you’ll have a chance someday.”

“Okay, we’re going to stop here,” Lupin decided. Impey, apparently, did not know that this was a part of the plan and slammed on the breaks, sending the girls flying forward. Kyoko managed to catch herself this time to avoid searing her face into the back of his seat, but Scarlett was sent flying into the dashboard. Arwen was saved by Lupin’s protective arm reaching back to give her something to grab onto.

“For fuck’s sake… Why?” Scarlett groaned as Arwen pulled her off the front of the car like a nice sister, Kyoko too busy chatting with her best-buddy, Scarlett mentally scoffs  
:the genius engineer. More like-:

Almost as if she heard Scarlett's thoughts, Kyoko whipped around and glared in her direction, causing the midget to raise her hands in surrender. 

:Alright. No dissing her boi then. But I guess she likes him now.:  
Scarlett paused momentarily as she thought about that, then nearly keeled over.  
:They’re going to be so cute, oh my god.:  
She thought her organs were going to shut down.

They didn’t.

Lupin is the first to address that the group needs to make their next move.  
“Alright, we need to get into the city somehow, so to avoid suspicion we’re going to split up and go through the checkpoint.”

“How do we want to do this?” Scarlett asked, “I’ll go with whoever.”

“I’ll take Arwen,” Lupin announced, probably to Arwen’s extreme delight.

“Okay,” Arwen nodded, trying to keep her cool. Of course her effort was obvious, but Scarlett could only roll her eyes affectionately at her sister’s swoon. Impey placed a hand on Kyoko’s head which earned him a not so affectionate hand slap.

“Kyoko can come with me!” Four sets of eyes landed on Scarlett and she paled a bit. One pair meant survival, the other pair meant certain capture and probable demise. She looked between the two groups, seeming to weigh which pair was less likely to get her killed, like it was even a contest to begin with.

“Come with us,” Kyoko insisted, waving her shorter sister over.

“I don’t-”

“Yeah, come on!” Impey grabbed Scarlett’s arm and dragged her away before she could finish protesting.

The not so dynamic trio reached the entrance within minutes, and while Kyoko was sure Impey had a plan, her instincts were telling her to not have faith in this man.

“Are you from the city?” the guy checking their shit asked.

“No, just visiting,” Impey explained, “I’m here with my wife, Natasha, and her sisterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.”

Where the fuck did Scarlett go?

Scarlett had come to the conclusion that her only option is to love herself enough to go her own way.  
Leaving them to their own devices, she walked along the outside of the wall until she spotted a clear area. Glancing over her shoulder, and finding it also free of possible spectators, she strode over and began to climb, cursing slightly when she’d get cut on a sharp part of the wall, leaving small patches of bloodied frost like a trail. The climb wasn’t difficult, per se, but once she reached the top, keeping her balance was… not something she accomplished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: [YOU CAN GO YOUR OWN WAY](https://youtu.be/6ul-cZyuYq4)


	5. Escape The Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack:  
> <https://youtu.be/-kLiNtvfbME>

“Nevermind, I just remembered her sister is arriving later today,” Impey laughed, trying to make a smooth recovery, “Right, Natasha? .......RIGHT, NATASHA????”

Normally Kyoko would understand that this was an act and go along with it but because the plot requires her to be an even bigger dumbass bitch than usual, she answered with an unsure, “Me Natasha?”

“Yes, you Natasha,” he sighed, waving her forward, “Cmon Kyoko, we don’t have all day.”

“I thought you said her name was Natasha?” the man gasped, the illuminati theme (bass boosted) playing in the background.  
“GO!” The living forge shouted, giving Impey a shove.

“Not to worry, I came prepared for this situation,” he took out what looked like a bomb and held it over his head, “Don’t you get close to me or you’ll regret it!”  
The guards that had surrounded them at this point, exchanged glances, trying to decide whether or not to take him seriously.

He pulled the pin out of it like a cool dude in an action movie and tossed it at the guards, dramatically sweeping his love interest behind him. However, the bomb did not go off and sat there being a useless fuck on the ground for several very awkward seconds.

“Okay NOW go,” he decided, sprinting off towards the gate,  
Little did the new chaotic lovebirds know... That the bomb was just late because a certain engineer can’t time fuses. Scarlett, rather gracefully if she were to recount it to you, went tumbling over the side of the wall as off in the distance an explosion rocked the stones. Her short shout cut off as the breath was knocked out of her, the ground hard enough to stun the small female sufficiently. It wasn’t until she realized the ground was moving, groaning, and warm to the touch that Scarlett suddenly had use of all her limbs again and launched herself up into a decent karate pose.  
She came face to face with a scientific boi who just looked so precious her initial reaction was to protecc, hands coming down instantly as the human ice cube stammered out an apology and helped him up.  
“It’s no problem,” he assured her as he stood, scratching the back of his head. Boy, if this guy wasn’t attractive. With his messy sandy hair and awkward stance. But while he captured her heart, something told Scarlett she was only meant to protecc.

So protecc she shall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlocked: Dud Muffin Stud Muffin


	6. Mansion Get

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack:  
> <https://youtu.be/ZnHmskwqCCQ>

Kyoko groaned, lifting up her stupid ass skirt that she still had on and running after Impey. “Impey wait I can’t RUN IN THIS.”

“What?” he turned around and unceremoniously threw her over his shoulder, “OKAY LET’S GO.”

“This sure is elegant,” Kyoko groaned, “And I can’t even rest my head without scorching you to death.”

“Oh yeah, I kind of forgot about that,” he laughed, “Okay, hold on.” He turned around to kick one of the oncoming guards, which won him more cool action hero points.

“Hey I have an idea,” She spoke up.

“What’s that?”

“Swing me at the guards.”

“Wha-”

“SWING ME YOU COWARD.”

He decided to take his partner’s advice, picking her up and smacking her into the nearest guards, who all toppled over. “Whee!” Kyoko exclaimed, before being thrown back over his shoulder, “HIGH-HO IMPEY!!!! AWAAAAAAAAY~!”

Meanwhile, while Scarlett and Victor just stared at each other awkwardly, a distant shouting grew closer and closer and closer until it was a cat wailing that echoed eerily off the buildings-

Kyoko rounded the corner with Impey in tow, and following them came sixteen guards with guns drawn and oh my god why did they have to come this way when they fucked up?

Even when Kyoko’s desperate voice started calling Scarlett by name, Ms. Freeze only turned to the boy and extended her hand. “Hi, it’s Scarlett. Sorry again.”

Wide eyed, he blinked at her uncomprehendingly but took the hand anyway. “No problem and my name is Victor-”

“Well Victor, run.” And with that Scarlett dragged him off, sprinting as Kyoko continued to frantically shout and Impey started laughing hysterically for no reason at all in this situation. Victor never even got the chance to argue, just panting heavily as he spouted words no one could understand unless he was given sole attention. Which just wasn’t in the inventory of the mother iceberg of the Titanic’s murderer right now..  
This is how the protecc squad ended up being chased by a horde of soldiers. Needless to say, they were sprinting for their lives like they were in some kind of classic comedic novel.

Oh wait. …  
Eventually the members of Lupin Merry Gang of Gents managed to clear enough distance between them and the guards that they could stop and rest. Impey heaving a sigh of relief before he plopped Kyoko back on the ground. “Phew, that was close.”

“So… Hey guys,” Scarlett said, with some other man in tow, “Look what I found.”

“How’d you get in?” Kyoko asked.

“I climbed the wall,” Scarlett replied flatly, like it was a completely normal thing to do, “Also this is Victor, he’s wanted for crimes against god. I saw wanted posters of him on the way into the city.”

“Hello,” Victor smiled, like the precious boi he is.

“Sup, I’m Kyoko, this is Impey, we just had a brush with death,” Kyoko introduced, not knowing that there would be many more brushes with death in the future. “Wanna join the c r e w??”

“I... What?” he muttered.

“That’s a yes! Okay cool we’re meeting up with Lupin and Arwen-”

“Right now!” Impey shouted, “Cue transition!”  
The protecc and invent squads eventually arrived at the cool mansion where Arwen and Lupin were waiting for them. Scarlett smiling as she greatly admired the architecture of the building. Kyoko did too, leaping around the front lawn like a gazelle shouting, “I’m the richest bitch!” WWhich only caused Arwen and Scarlett great amusement. They introduced Victor, and recounted what had happened as Lupin gestured to the vast interior of the mansion.

"This is where we've set up our base of operations"  
Lupin explains as we step inside.  
Kyoko is delighted to be in a mansion.  
"This place is gorgeous! Could use some glitter though"  
"What?"  
Lupin quirks a brow before Arwen leaned close to Kyoko and whispered.  
"Glitter doesn't exist yet, this is the 1850's"  
Kyoko huffed in disappointment but shook her head with a  
"never mind"

This is also where Lupin told the new merry gang members that the house belonged to one of their friends, and that if they were to run into anybody whilst exploring, it was probably best to introduce themselves and say hello.  
“And since it is getting rather late, you all can get some sleep upstairs, most rooms are open,” Lupin noted.  
“Oh whoops, looks like they all just became occupied except two,” Fire hands joked, “Guess Arwen will have to sleep with you now oh well c'mon scarlett let’s GO.”

“Hey! Wait!” Arwen snapped, “Very funny.”

“Night, boys,” Kyoko saluted, sprinting up the stairs before Arwen could tackle her to the ground. She found a nice little room down one of the halls, complete with sheets that were definitely not fuck proof- I mean burn proof, whatever. 

“Guess I’ll die,” She decided, flopping down on the bed, “Hope no one stabs me in my sleep.” With that, Kyoko drifted off to dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlocked: All Saint's Base Are Belong To Us


	7. Scarlett Finds the Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack:  
> [Set the Mood my gents](https://youtu.be/COvAJ6UW0rk)

After Kyoko darted had off for her own preservation, Arwen subtly asked for a tour, which Lupin readily agreed to, and Scarlett tried her best to believe Arwen wouldn’t just pull Lupin onto the first bed they found on their journey through the house. Then again, Arwen was probably hoping for the trip to end at love land, and Madame Frost was rooting for them.

The subsequent silence, left Scarlett to travel on her own, so up the stairs she went, hand trailing over the smooth walls appraisingly. Everything here was so fancy she was terrified of touching anything else. What she knew of Impey at this point had her believing that whoever the owner of this house was he was okay with things getting fucked up.  
Once at the next floor, Scarlett checked out a few of the bedrooms, none of them occupied, until she reached a door that opened to the library. It was then that the mansion noticeably chilled with the atmosphere of an aristocrat. Oh no.... it's probably Scarlett's love interest. The man standing in front of the window frightened her when she first caught sight of him, her body freezing as if she’d been caught doing something bad. The man slowly turned and Scarlett probably looked like a rabbit whose eyes were about to pop out of its head. Her brain scrambling.  
:WhY WaS THiS MAn SO AtTrACtIVE?:  
...  
:Yes, I am calm individual.:

However, in the time span of her immediate break down, the man had introduced himself as Saint Germain, a bunch of fancy titles even Scarlett won’t use coming before that. Then, much to her horror, he asked, “And what is your name, Madam?” And of course, that one little word sent her mind spinning into a land of ‘hell no, why the hell would you want me to work?’ Having to force her brain to move forward much quicker than it wanted to, because damn was his gentlemanly attitude legitimately killing her right now, She could do nothing more than nod dumbly and give her name in a very squeak-like tone.

He chuckled and again. Damn. 

:I really am turning into Arwen. How did things progress like this???:

Feeling like an idiot who should at the next most convenient time throw herself down some stairs, Scarlett told him who she was and why she was a stranger making her way around his house. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to have much of a problem with the demure woman in the first place, simply smiling a smile that she recognized instantly as being not exactly forced but hiding something. This, of course, made her heart thump in curiosity.

You best believe Scarlett would be discovering pretty man’s secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: The Calm and The Storm  
> Achievement Unlock: Musty Books


	8. Ease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit more serious of a chapter, mostly fluff.  
> Enjoy
> 
> Soundtrack:[ gentler music for the gentler chapter](https://youtu.be/6gE1FCNFG40)  
> [ alternative music](https://youtu.be/ifQ3JRS4gqc)

Meanwhile, across the mansion.  
“It's Kyoko's fault I'm in here.”  
Arwen muttered to herself.  
“If she had just been quiet I might be a little less rattled. -!”  
She heard a door click open and nearly jumped out of her skin.  
"Hey~"  
A male voice soothed. The blonde, while frazzled, turned her head to have her gaze fall upon the man who has stolen her and her sisters away from solitude. She had to admit, he was enchanting from moment 1, but this? This situation right here? Is NOT what she thought would be taking place her first night staying here. Lupin's expression faltered.  
"Are you alright?"  
"Oh? Yeah I'm fine just."  
She put up her arms, stretched obviously, and forced a yawn.  
"Really tired."  
This got a quirked brow in response, his entire expression spoke volumes. 'Really?' She could almost hear him speak in her head.

He decided to leave it be and disappeared into another room that Arwen assumed was the bathroom. Otherwise that running water sound was a sink in his closet, which she doubted.

That man put her mind in a tailspin, he swooped in out of nowhere and already knew her affliction and yet he... he touched her. He wasn't afraid of her. She’d still occasionally pinch herself to check if she was dreaming. 

:Um~ I think I need to pinch myself harder.:  
There he was in the doorway, in a loose shirt and trousers. Scruffing up his hair with a towel.  
Seeing as he hadn’t noticed her looking, she decided to take in the view a bit more....  
His shirt was slightly baggy on his slender form, but she could still make out his musculature underneath as the fabric stuck to his dampened skin. His top button was undone, allowing the already flustered blonde to see his collar bones. His skin shining ever so slightly in the blue light that had streamed in from the window. Arwen's pulse quickened, she could feel it in her face, and it was strange. Her cheeks on fire as she quickly diverted her gaze. She knew when he directed his attention to her because he chuckled lowly. Which Did Not. Help. The heart rate. Arwen felt her pulse in her knees and thighs now. Damn it! The bed depressed beside her.  
"You mind?~"  
He purred teasingly, Arwen’s brain grasping at frayed straws of thought.  
:oh I'm on his side of the bed. Got it, getting up.:  
Her feet touched the floor, her weight shifted to stand, and her knees said.... No. Instantly starting to tumble forward as her legs buckled beneath her. Arwen's hands shot out to catch herself, but instead dangled just centimeters from the floor. Time stretched, the warmth around her waist sending her body to twist and let her look up. Her body went limp and the grip around the completely defenseless female tightened, probably compensating for the fact her body probably just felt ten times heavier. There he was. A single foot placed to the floor to support himself as he contorted to catch her. When she calmed a little, he moved Arwen back to sit on the bed.  
"Next time let my looks' effects wear off before standing"  
She wanted to hit him, and she wanted to kiss him. And right then she couldn't do either. Guess she’ll just sit in sexual tension for a bit.  
"You going to lay down or just sit there and watch me sleep?"  
Op there it went, here comes panic.  
"I-i! But this is- and I- and you- and poison- so- um..."  
Her hands flew about in front of her before they came to rest on her face, her breathing cut to a squeak when she heard him let out a whole-hearted laugh. He carried on for a while until Arwen's delight at the sound became overrun by her embarrassment. Eventually, he calmed himself and let his face relax to a warm expression  
"As long as you have your clothes and hair in between, you'll be okay."  
He explained. Arwen knew that, so why did it calm her so much more when he said it? By the time She realized she'd moved she was already halfway laying down.  
Finishing her cautious decent, the blonde felt her spine lax as her weight sank into the mattress.  
Her lids dropped closed and she sighed out in relief.  
Eyes reopening to see Lupin's gaze on her, she instantly flushed.  
"W-what?"  
His brows knit a moment, then he smiled.  
"Is that comfortable?"  
Arwen had to lay flat on her back to avoid melting anything with her stupid face. So no, not really.  
"It's fine."  
"You're still fully dressed, even your boots are still on."  
He mused.  
:Oh, whoops, that's rude, bad, bad Arwen, take off your boots, done.:  
She layed back down, but Lupin's quirked brow remained. He wasn’t looking directly at her, but his expression was enough to prompt Arwen to speak.  
"What?"  
She purred for what felt like the millionth time that night.  
"You can take off your coat."  
He noted.  
Arwen nervously opened her jacket and slid it off of her arms, letting it drop behind her back, leaving behind a long sleeved shirt, buckled in place with long fingerless gloves that went under another pair of shorter gloves that were easy to remove. Her shirt had a stiff fabric collar that buckled around her neck. Lupin's face seemed to fall as he glanced over Arwen's clothes, Even her legs were covered in more than one layer of cloth. He looks down and Arwen’s non-existent heart sinks.  
"L-"  
His hands then snatched the coat from behind the now startled Arwen and he adjusted himself under the covers, laying the jacket over him.  
"Come here,"  
He waved her towards him. She hesitated only for him to pull her arm and drag her down. Her face met his chest and she flinched, but her coat blocked the poison. Her hands pressed at him to get back up until they fell limp. His heartbeat sounded softly through the cloth. His chest rose and fell as he took breath after breath.  
"That better?"  
His voice jolted Arwen from her trance. Her response limited to a nod as her mouth went dry. He hummed, the lower tones reaching her more than they usually would as Arwen’s head rested on his torso. Her arms settled around him.  
"Goodnight."  
He muttered. How was he so comfortable around her, if this coat moved in the night he could get seriously hurt, or worse.  
"I sleep still as a rock."  
Did he just read her thoughts? Nevermind. Arwen's eyes closed as her breathing steadied, drifting to sleep as she felt a bit of her coat get moved over the back of her head, pressure shifting over and down to her neck.  
Maybe she should thank Kyoko in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: [ Ease My Mind](https://youtu.be/eUpvPb9FGpw)


	9. Boom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: [ no questions allowed](https://youtu.be/JxmwOWxoPDk)

The following day passed without much event until the afternoon as the whole house was shaken on it’s foundation. which is a feat, seeing as this was a full blown MANSION, not some run of the mill Suga-shack! Everyone began to gather in the common room by the entryway only to see absolutely nothing amiss. Then, Suddenly, LE GASP, the right wall exploded. Everyone jumping to avoid debris as Arwen was pushed over and protected from the blast. By Lupin.   
:BrainbegoodBrainbegood DontgoleftDontgoleftDontgoleft!:  
Arwen heard Scarlett's voice in the back of her head.  
‘Go left’  
But she fought the urge down and just enjoyed his closeness.  
"You alright?"  
He asks. She dazedly nodded.  
"Mmhmm. I think so."  
"Good"  
Lupin then stands and strides over to punch Impey.  
"WHAT DID YOU DO!?"  
"IT WASN'T ME I SWEAR!!"   
But it was him, the engine of his ornithopter had just exploded, knocking out the brick of the mansion wall and thank everything that is above that it wasn’t a weight-bearing wall, or it would’ve been bye-bye mansion, Hello Homelessness and a pile of rubble. Also, the homicide of the red-haired mechanic would be a probable outcome there. It still was one as Lupin knocked him around a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: Demolitionist


	10. Rebuilding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: [very fitting I'd say](https://youtu.be/o-ZXSqK3CH0)

A few Back-breaking hours of labour later, carried out mostly by Victor. The wall was fixed.  
“How did I end up doing all of this? Lupin just instructed me to watch you while you cleaned up to make sure you didn’t cause further damage.”  
Victor’s browed quirked as he placed the last brick, looking to Impey who was lounging by his workshop tent like the freeloading potato he is. Victor just sighed.  
“I suppose it saved me time fixing any errors you would’ve made. So come on, let’s head inside, it’s hot out here.”  
“Sorry, my fault”  
Impey smirks, only getting an unamused glance from Victor before the Repair squad went back into the building. The alchemist popping his shoulder as the engineer stretched. To give him credit, impey did take some of the time it took to repair the wall to repair the Ornithopotypiter’s engine and make some upgrades to prevent a recurrence of the spontaneous combustion the previous model suffered from. Impey rushed upstairs for a moment before running into Kyoko in the hall, the two exchanging a few pleasantries before heading to the kitchen together. No one taking note of this as they were in their own little worlds. Scarlett returned to the Library to talk with her boiyo. He gave some lengthy introduction, and she gave one back and the next thing you know they were immersed in some long ass conversation that probably had something to do with the number of deciduous trees on the property. Arwen sat quietly on the couch next to Lupin, sketching in a small journal the thief had given her as the house enjoyed some peace and quiet.   
Briefly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlocked: A Single Second of Quiet


	11. Why!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: [Good stuff](https://youtu.be/WQMvNj3QxBQ)

a very loud explosion pulled Scarlett from her business of staring at G’s face, causing her to jump and him to raise an eyebrow. “I believe that would be Impey.” G said in his quiet voice, but she just face palmed as she heard the same distant screaming from earlier.

“And that would be Kyoko…” Scarlett the sagely wise knew this would happen as soon as her sister entered the kitchen. 

Saint Germain didn’t ask, so she didn't explain, figuring it would be much easier to do so after they put out the inevitable fire that was no doubt burning the entire house to the ground. 

Speed walking downstairs, because she is a calm individual, they rushed into the kitchen to see that Scarlett’s lecturing was not needed, as along with the smoking rubble of a kitchen Arwen shouted very… choice words at Kyoko whilst Impey stood behind her and looked simultaneously horrified and starry eyed. 

Kyoko stood proud until the very end. “Arwen, you simply can’t understand my masterpiece!” 

“Masterpiece?! We’ve been here for HALF AN HOUR!”

“In this world, that’s all the time I need.” Arwen’s eye twitched and Scarlett could only watch as she raised her hand and slowly took off the glove protecting others from her acidic flesh. Kyoko’s eyes widened and she let out a concerned giggle.  
“Alright Arwen… Come on… No need for violence.” But it was too late, Arwen launching herself forward after Kyoko who fled with a high pitched scream of fear. Scarlett could only take a deep breath to calm herself before sheepishly looking at Saint Germain.  
“I’m sorry for my sisters…” He only shook his head with a small grin. She looked away just before she blushed, making sure he couldn’t see her. Hopefully, after Arwen finishes melting Kyoko, things can be calm again. She notes, as in the background, Arwen is literally reducing Kyoko to a puddle whilst Impey shouts in despair.

The night was spent helping Kyoko recuperate from regenerating her entire body, and a series of tests while a fascinated Victor has no clue how Kyoko hadn’t suffered any memory loss even though her brain was made into the brain’s equivalent of soup. What’s the brains equivalent of soup you ask? I don’t know, how about you go to your nearest highschool and ask any student in a regular english class. They can tell you all about the liquid bag and lose change they have installed up there to function as human beings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: [YOU TIT!](https://youtu.be/Ypn5kLJtx7M)


	12. Casino

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter this time folks  
> soundtrack: [Yeet](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0VHTJMyALw)

The next morning Kyoko is waking up now... because it’s morning. Turns out, there is now an adorable dog at the foot of her bed. “Oh my god,” She ran over and pet it with a gloved hand, “You are the goodest boy I’ve ever seen.” She decided to take the little dog with her, carrying him downstairs to where the rest of the group was already assembled.

“Nice hair,” Arwen commented at Kyoko’s obviously unbrushed hair.

“Shut up,” Kyoko groaned, “And look what I found.”

“Oh, that’s Sisi,” Lupin explained, “Seems he’s taken a liking to y-”

Before he could finish, Sisi leapt out of Kyoko’s arms and ran over to Arwen, licking her leg affectionately.

“...Her. He’s taken a liking to her,” he finished with a smirk.

“I’m crying,” Kyoko stated, despite the lack of tears on her face.

“Good morning, everyone,” said Scarlett’s posh asshole as he descended the stairs.  
A napkin flies across the space at high speed as Kyoko jumped.  
"Holy shit it speaks!!"  
She gasps, Arwen's vision trails to Scarlett, who, seeing how old and stoney this male is, is probably already mentally keeping him dressed and having a ladylike stroll through the city with him like the composed woman she is whom Arwen loves and adores and protects with all her being.  
Arwen smirked before turning to Kyoko and whispering, “20 bucks says Scarlett’s gonna get with that.”

“Thirty says she already has,” Kyoko replied.

“Oh, hello, you must be the sisters Scarlett mentioned before,” he smiled, “I am Mister Count President Lord King Doctor Fuhrer Master Saint Germain, but you don’t have to call me by all of that.” At least that’s how Kyoko remembers him introducing himself. No one else could remember well enough to prove of disprove her so take it for what you will. 

“Good, I wasn’t going to,” Kyoko sighed, “I’m Kyoko, this is Arwen, Lupin’s new girlfriend, and I see you’ve already met Sca-” She was cut off by Arwen punching her in the arm and hissing at her to “PLEASE SHUT UP DAMMIT”

“Perhaps you should leave your poor friend alone, Kyoko,” Lupin suggested, looking amused.  
“Wait,” Kyoko looks around, completely ignoring him, “Where’s the loud one?”

“In the dining room,” Victor replied, herding us all in there, “Excellent segway into breakfast.”  
The segway goes broom broom as he leads the gang to the dining room. Why? Cuz typos make comedy!

“Hey guys,” Impey screamed, loading the table up with food, “Have some tasty boys.”

Kyoko shoveled as much godly food into her mouth as she could before someone suggested they all go fuck around at the casino. Saint Germain decided to stay at the mansion and not have fun, much to Scarlett’s dismay as Kyoko practically yanked the shorter girl from the house with a shout that she needed a break from all her pining.

When they got there, they decided to split up! AGAIN! Arwen went to gamble with Lupin and rake in some marriage funds. Scarlett accompanied Fran as the protecc squad, eating some cotton candy with her little angsty mouth. All while discussing her likes and dislikes with Victor like proper ol’ gents. Kyoko and Impey bounded off somewhere soon after as Scarlett set a timer on her invisible watch that was totally on her wrist for how long she was betting they’d stay out of trouble.  
It was set for fifteen minutes. Which might I, as the narrator, add is a very optimistic estimate by that little angst ball.  
Unfortunately, the one time Scarlett decided the grass is green and not on the verge of death, those idiots try to hack the slot machines, and start getting chased by the guards ten minutes into when they walked off.  
Arwen and Lupin are playing blackjack, currently on the wane of profit. But Lupin gives her a wink and goes all in. If they lose the whole merry gang is screwed. Luckily though, the dealer loses by going over trying to beat their pair of eights.  
To recap. Scarlett and Fran were precious antisocial beans of terrible hidden self-hatred. Kyoko and Impey were thrown into the River Thames by angry soldiers, thank goodness the river was as large and as cold as it is so Kyoko could swim out without boiling Impey alive. And Lupin and Arwen win big time and are asked to not come back to the casino. While her thief gloated, the now peppy blonde went to cash in the chips and get the money, stashing it in her inner pockets of her coat that zip closed, no way to lose it. Annnd no holes! Great. Money secure. Arwen totally wont forget that exists and send the gents on a wild goose chase to collect a bounty because they think they're broke in the near future AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH- anyway.  
It was then their perfect outing got fucked right up the ass as an angry man with a gun came running in. Lupin ended up tackling Arwen to the ground in a not at all suggestive manner while Impey and Kyoko tried to sneak up on the motherfucker from behind. Turns out that shooty man had two guns and turned the one that wasn’t pointed at Lupin on the destruction and repair squad: the two dumbasses who don’t know how to sneak.  
“Whoa, sorry, you, uh, keep doing what you’re doing man,” Kyoko stammered, shuffling out of gun range and dragging Impey with her.

The man turned his attention back to Lupin and Arwen. Lupin having gotten up. Arwen got up behind him and hid like a demure female interest of a male protagonist usually does.  
The shooty man began to explain his intentions like a calm normal person.  
"...the monster"  
Oh boy, isn't he in for a surprise.  
Lupin glances over his shoulder at Arwen before observing the situation. He then aims his staff at his opponent with an exclamation of  
"Bang!"  
And the area being clouded in thick smoke.  
Arwen’s hand is grabbed and Lupin starts to lead her away until he's pulled into the fog, her anger flaring as she heard him cry out in pain. Prompted by Scarlett, Fran gives Arwen a signal and throws a vial down, the smoke clearing as the flash-bang detonates and stuns everyone but those privy the signal. Arwen used the second of confusion to throw a kick at the male attacking Lupin. Landing a hard blow to the man's side, knocking him off balance in slight surprise. The now confident blonde helped Lupin from the ground and wiped his coat of dust and the remnants of his shattered pride before pulling him with her.  
Kyoko and Impey, who were running as far from the gun as possible, finally turned in concern as they saw Shooty man begin to regain his footing. Kyoko yelping as shootyman’s stoney gaze locked on her and a bullet hole appeared where she was just a moment ago. Wait what? Impey had wrapped around her and barrelled her out of the way.  
“He’s a good shot,” she commented, voice slightly shaky as herbrain started screaming due to near death.

“Yeah,” Impey huffed, “No kidding. We have to help the others somehow-”

Shooty man’s groan of annoyance cut off by a loud clang, coming from Scarlett tossing a large metal bucket at him, causing him to fall over. Arwen and Lupin running towards the exit.  
"I'VE GOT HIM! RUN!"  
Arwen shouted. Kyoko and Impey rushing to make sure no more ambushes delayed the gang’s escape while Scarlett and Fran picked out a route for us as Lupin collected himself. Eventually regaining thought and taking the lead to bring the gang into the forest.  
And now they’re trying to come up with a game plan because WHY IS THERE A GUNMAN CHASING THEM?! 

“Do we know what he wants?” Kyoko asked.  
“Well you see,” Lupin kindly informs, “He wants to kill the rumored monster.”  
The three girls look between one another and Kyoko slowly points at herself, “Us monster?”  
He nods very seriously. “Yes. You monster.”  
Thankfully the man didn't seem to be giving chase so Lupin could give needed exposition....  
Surprise motherfucker,  
“MONSTER?!” And it’s the return of shooty man. He comes running from behind a nearby tree and takes a shot, purposefully hitting the tree by Fran, not a miss, at least, that's what he'll tell you if you ask.  
“I’m looking for the monster,” Shooty man announced, very briefly and with absolutely no buildup like a normal fucking story would have.  
Kyoko instantly catches sight of him, and in that moment she knew that she was only meant to attacc.  
So attacc she shall. But not yet, as Lupin's gaze flicks and Impey speaks up.  
"I'll stall him, you get away from here."  
Kyoko looked conflicted, but ultimately followed. Arwen spared a glance over her shoulder to watch what happened.  
Impey, also with no buildup, goes flying at Shooty Man like a dumbass, probably meaning to kick his ass. However, to this shooty man simply bats him away and with a completely out of character declaration of, “Who will I shooty-shoot?” shoots the thing closest to him, which just so happened to be the Impey collapsed on the ground. The red-head went flying and let out a soft groan that was accompanied by his lover’s - oh I mean future lover’s - screaming and gasps from the crowd as the gunshot rang through the trees.  
“FUCK!” Kyoko shouted, “WHY??”

“Let’s go!” Lupin demanded, leading us off into fuck knows where.

“But-” Kyoko started.

“He’ll be fine!”

“Lupin NO.”

“Lupin yes.”

“LUPIN I WILL TOAST YOUR ASS.”

“Like hell!” Arwen interjected, grabbing Kyoko and pulling her along, and while Arwen’s legs twitched at how wrong this situation felt, she knew Lupin heard the gunshot too, and that's his friend. If he wasn't turning around he must know something she didn't.

Fran however turns around to run back before Arwen and Lupin use their arms and clothesline him. The whole group pausing.  
Fran points frantically.  
"I agree with Kyoko! We have to go back!"  
Lupin looks around seeing the man still standing by Impey's limp form, seemingly monologging. How nice of him to give us time to stand and talk instead of run like the dumbasses we are.  
Op-!, Lupin speaks.  
"I know this makes no sense right now, but you need to trust me and keep moving. He's after them."  
He gestures to the three girl, Fran searches Lupin's face a moment before hesitantly nodding. Scarlett looks like she's about to protest, but Arwen gave her a look to trust Lupin. And Kyoko.... .... ... Wait-... Where is Kyoko?

A loud yell is their answer, turning Arwen sees Kyoko running at the man with her gloves off. Oh shit.  
"Take this asshole!"  
She declares, hands meeting the gun that he raised up to block her strike. The metal melts and warps under her hands as the male's face contorts in shock, but his eyes narrow, Kyoko doesn't see it... He swings his other gun to her head and she falls to the ground, thankfully it rained the day before, but you can see smoke rise from where her skin was killing the grass beneath her still bare hands. The dirt becoming scorched with each passing moment. Lupin urges the rest of us to keep moving, but Scarlett rushed back to where Kyoko was picking herself up, grabbed her sister’s arm and started to drag her away, even as Kyoko argued and fought back, burning Scarlett badly as she’d grabbed the furnaces naked arm. Shooty man caught onto their fleeing though, he also saw Scarlett's flesh smoking and pointed dramatically,  
“MOnsTEr?!”  
“Monsters- I mean monster?” Kyoko asked “What monster?”  
This ended up with more running, catching up to the gang and weaving through the abundance of green until the gunman was out of sight.

Shooty man caught up to them eventually, however, but not before Lupin stuffed the three sisters into a bush and told them to hide. Kyoko violently protesting.  
“This is bullshi-”

“SHHSHhHHHSHHh!” Scarlett snapped, covering Kyoko’s mouth.

Arwen doesn't hesitate to dive into the nearby bush, becoming still as a stone. Scarlett snickers.  
"You want a treat for being such a good girl?"  
She teased, only receiving a whine in return.  
But the next thing Arwen remembers is that Impey has caught up, and he seems alright.  
They're guys are all talking at the moment. 

 

Pov flip!!!!  
Welcome to Vanocolate Helsing simulator.

These guys are rambling like idiots....  
WHY DOES NOONE LOVE ME!

Can I just shoot them all?....  
I DON'T DESERVE HAPPINESS!

Pov back to normal because the joke is getting old.

The situation escalated at an upsetting rate, ending with Shooty Man pointing a gun at Lupin again. Arwen got up, ready to defend the bae, but Scarlett stopped her, practically throwing her back down into the grass.

“Let me help!” Arwen demanded, picking up a handful of grass and maliciously sprinkling it on Scarlett.

“You three, in the bushes,” Shooty Man pointed, “Come on out.”

“Dammit,” Kyoko stood up and walked over to Shooty Man, “Okay, okay, you caught me, now what?”

Arwen and Scarlett ran out after her, Arwen looking like she was about to open a can of whoop ass on Shooty Man.

“whEre’S tHe mOnstER?!?!?!??!?” he demanded, calmly and sanely.

“It’s me,” Arwen said, fearing neither Shooty Man nor death.

“NO!” Kyoko interrupted, “It’s me.”

“Yeah, it’s Kyoko,” Scarlett shoved the human equivalent of a stovetop towards Shooty Man, “Take her.”

“Wait,” Victor pushed her back into Scarlett, walking out in front of the gunman like a brave boy “Can’t we talk about this? :)”

And so they talked about it, for a very long and boring amount of time, which eventually led to Victor getting Shooty Man to join our group of misfit toys. YAY~!  
He can now be examined from the status section in the menu.. the fuq?  
Also Shooty Man’s real name is Van Helsing, and now They're one big happy family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlocked: BLACKJACK  
> Achievement Unlocked: WHO WILL I SHOOTY SHOOT?


	13. Onithepeptapepper and TRAINS!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: [Boop](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNXsO6j0n4s)

Cut to the next day everybody having just woken up to greet the next morning, and as everyone pretended like Van had never tried to kill them all, they waited for Impey to finish making breakfast. He sure was taking a long ass time, so Kyoko went to go check on what he was d=oing for no particular reason at all.

“Hey man, what’s going on?” She greeted, kicking open the door.

“Hey Kyoko,” he waved her over to the stove, “I’m trying to make everyone’s eggs but I can’t find my skillet.”

He looked at the woman in shock when she started rolling up her pants. “Here.” she threw her leg on top of the stove, “Fry the eggs. On my leg.”

“Um,” he looked at his friend hesitantly, “You know what? Sure! Let’s try it!”

Eight eggs and twenty seconds later, The dumbass squad had successfully scorched the fuck out of everyone’s breakfast.

“There’s no way we can use these,” he sighed, scraping the charred crisps of what used to be the unborn young of a stupid poultry off Kyoko’s leg and into the trash.

“What, I’m not good enough for you?” She gasped, pretending to be offended. Before Impey could defend himself, Lupin threw open the door.

“Forget whatever you two are doing, we’re stealing a train car,” he announced confidently, with a swish of his cape, nearly catching it on fire as it flew above the still active stovetop.

“Wait what the fuck.”

TRANSITION YEEHAW

YEEEEHUUUU

“I wanna stay here,” Kyoko decided, looking down from the ornithopter, “This looks like a job for someone who isn’t me.”

“Lazy,” Arwen commented, ready to descend on the train with Lupin.

“Not lazy, I’m still helping!” Human furnace scooted into the other seat that was now avaliable since this fucking ornitheireoperpeter was only meant to hold two. “Bye you two. Be safe.”

“I’m pulling down over the train,” Impey said as another blast of wind straight out of god’s anus shook our poor ornithoppereoepper.

“We’re gonna die,” Kyoko gripped onto the nearest available surface, flattening herself against the controls.

“No dying,” Scarlett insisted through the communications thingy that they have even though it’s the 18 fucking hundreds.  
But actually isn’t that far-fetched in this universe because of aether and functioning aether communicators existing in this steampunk alternate historical timeline but whatever!!! This narration is shit. It’s supposed to be shit. Get over it.

Arwen and Lupin swung out of the orhinierdetptr, landing safely on the roof of the train. Since they’re currently doing the most interesting thing, we’re gonna follow them for a bit while Scarlett and Saint-G wait at the rendezvous point and Impey and Kyoko float around uselessly.

They wiggled on into the train car where Fuckhead McShit- AT-HEM Herlock was an asshole that causes Arwen to make dog growls she didn't know she was capable of. He and Lupin go back and forth, trying to be cool, until Arwen just fucking punches Bootleg Vocaloid Gakupo in the face with inhuman force. With her gloves off. So now he’s dead. Good. Great. Wonderful! Please read the following stanza to the tune of “The Wicked Witch” 

Ding Dong!  
Herlock is dead!  
Fuckhead McShit!  
Fuckhead McShit!  
Ding Dong!  
DumbAss Herlock is DEEEEEEAD!

Sure! Arwen would later get herself into a situation that requires Lupin to be a hero- Oh fuck, she just did. Well where the hell did Lupin go? Don’t worry, he always has a plan.

Okay, jumping back to the orpnipyhehrpper now, where Kyoko was trying to get Impey to do a barrel roll.

“Guys, see if you can get down to where Arwen is, something’s gone wrong,” Scarlett announced, taking away all our fun.

“There’s no way I’ll be able to get close enough with this wind,” Impey admitted, glancing over at the train.

“Gimme the controls, I have an idea,” Kyoko said, like a dumbass.

“DO NOT GIVE HER THE-” Dumbass two flipped off the communications thingy and motioned for Impey to scoot over.

“You taught me how to fly this thing in a scene we didn’t get to see because it wasn’t important, so scoot.”

Impey, the number one in the partnership of dumbassery, let Kyoko take the controls and decided to trust her, which was his first mistake. She dropped the ladder from the hatch thingy and moved down as close as she could without fucking over everything. The whole time Dumbass one was in the seat next to her, looking visibly uncomfortable as she brought the ornidhefruhgrjtq closer to doom.

“Kyoko, I really think I should drive,” he insisted, reaching for the controls.

“NO,” She jerked away from him, trying to find a way to signal to Lupin to jump on. He was waiting on the roof of another car, and climbed onto the ladder once it was close enough.

“Okay, phew,” Impey gasped, “Nice job there, KyokOHHHHH MY GOD WATCH OUT.” He grabbed the controls, yanking the ornirnitnhiednfrthe up away from the ground. “Please, you did great, but let me driv-”

“No, I’ve GOT IT,” Kyoko pulled it back towards her, the oribgttehrprtr taking a sharp dive to the left.

The dumbasses fought back and forth over the controls while poor Lupin swung back and forth wildly beside the train. At least they’d caught up to where Arwen was. She was standing beside the car door, ready to jump once Lupin got close enough. But it seemed she changed her mind, however, when she saw how sporadically Lupin was being pulled in every direction imaginable.

“ARWEN!” Lupin called, extending his arm to her like a dashing gent, “JUMP!”

“No,” she said, watching her one true love get swung off into oblivion as the orniethrofjliwjge skewed right, “Lupin, please be careful.”

“I’m trying!” he laughed, “Just jump!”

“No,” she said, softer this time. Arwen finally jumped once Lupin got close again, the man romantically catching her in his arms.

“See?” he grinned, “I told you we’d be oka-”

The ladder swung away from the train again, suspending the two of them out into open air. “Arwen, hang on!”

“I’m TRYING,” she grabbed onto his coat for dear life as they swung back and forth, “Pull us up, dammit!”

Up in the oringitgihynhutnber, Impey and Kyoko were STILL fighting for the controls.

“Kyoko, please, I know you want to-”

“NO!”

“COME ON”

“NO! IMPEY BARBICANE, I WILL GRILL YOUR ASS.”

He finally let go of the controls after that, looking offended, “C’mon, you wouldn’t do that, would you?”

She let go as well, unable to tell whether or not he was faking it. “Try me, bitch! ....Aww, cmon I was kidding. Of course I wouldn’t. But don’t tell Van that so I can threaten him more.”

He laughed, “Okay, sure. I guess we still managed to get Lupin out of the-”

“OH MY GOD” Kyoko grabbed the controls again as the ornihdyjpiter hurtled toward the ground SINCE NO ONE WAS FUCKING STEERING. Arwen and Lupin managed to get inside safely, but both shitty pilots got a stern talking to from Lupin who wasn’t very happy about being flung back and forth.

So somehow they all got back to the mansion, Scarlett and Saint Germain already waiting for them.

“Where were you guys?” Arwen asked, “You missed all the fun.”

“Yeah, Impey nearly killed everyone,” Van huffed, having been told of the situation by Lupin.

Scarlett looked up from her book, VERY annoyed, “None of you would listen to me, so Saint Germain and I left, had a nice dinner, and came back to our nice cozy mansion where we have been quietly reading for two hours. The six of YOU, however, look like you’ve just been through hell, and trust me, you’re not off the hook just yet.”

“Scarlett,” Saint Germain tried to distract her, but to no avail.

Scarlett continued, her voice eerily calm, “If any of you ever turn your communications off again, I’ll freeze your entire bloodstream to the point that you’ll forget what warmth even is.”

“But Scarlet!... it doesn’t work on us, “ Kyoko reminded her.

Scarlett opened her mouth and pointed a finger ather infuriating sibling, unable to find a counter to that, Eventually she just settled for, “Shut up, Kyoko. You think I won’t find a way?”

“The point is, everyone got home safe,” Victor sighed, “Now if you need me, I’ll be sleeping. For a long time.”

Kyoko was surprised he didn’t pass out before he even made it to the stairs, but he had the right idea. After that fiasco, everyone could use some rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: [Panic in the Skies!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYK3LHvxnxU)  
> Achievement Unlock: [Rough Air](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9PQllS67gY)


	14. Bubble Wrap!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: [ Bubblewrap!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJFDyYQ8NhY)

The next morning, Kyoko woke up early to find Van sitting alone in the dining room.

“Hey Van,” She yawned, plopping down next to him, “Man, last night, huh?”

He glared at her, “What do you want?”

“Hm?”

“Nothing, I just assumed you were talking to me because you want something.”

Kyoko gasped, faking offense, “Why would I want anything from you?”

“Hmph, just leave me alone then,” he grumbled, “I’m surprised Impey didn’t kill you last night.”

“Oh yeah, he was totally pulling some risky moves,” Kyoko mused, even though most of what happened had been her fault, “Sometimes I think that man needs to be wrapped in bubble wrap to keep him safe.”

Van suddenly seemed interested, “Oh? If you’re serious about this, I might have an idea.”

“Holy shit really?” She grinned.

“Yeah, I just need you to...”

Cryptic fade to black so you won’t know what Van’s plan is even though you’re about to find out!

“Can I open my eyes yet?” Impey asked, stumbling forward as Kyoko pushed him out into the yard.

“No,” She shook her head, “I told you, it’s a surprise~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!”

But of course, everyone knows no good can come from that many tildes.

“Okay, don’t move,” She instructed, taking a step back. She expected Van to sneak up behind him and encase him in a protective layer of bubble wrap, but by the time she heard an engine roaring in the distance, it was too late. “IMPEY MOVE!”

“But you said-” he began. Before getting barreled over by the car and slammed into a nearby tree.

Kyoko screamed, not sure whether to help Impey or attack Van first.

“Calm down, he’s fine!” Van snapped, shoving her out of the way so he could roll an unconscious Impey in many, MANY layers of bubble wrap.

“Asshole!” She shouted, grabbing the nearest blunt object and swinging it at him. He quickly whipped around, but not before she gave him a sufficient whack with it, sending him to the ground alongside Impey. “That’s for knocking me out in the other crack fic!” She shouted, “And so for hitting Impey with a GOD DAMN CAR.”

Kyoko wrapped Van in bubble wrap as well, before rolling both him and Impey inside.

Lupin, however, was watching all this shit go down, and seemed to have come to the conclusion that dumbass two also needed a protective case. “Kyoko,” he said, bubble wrap in hand.

“OH NO,” she hissed, “You’re not taking me ali-”

Kyoko would wake up some time later with confusion in her head, bubble wrap on her body, and anger in her soul.

But for now, let’s focus on what happens to the rest of the gang.

Scarlett decides to be slick and knock Lupin out somehow and roll him up as well. This was not by any means to avenge her loud sister. In fact, she added another layer to that doof’s bubbly shroud while she was at it.

While she was admiring her handiwork, Arwen crept up behind her, and in an act of avenging her fallen love, did the exact same thing to Scarlett. Lupin would be proud, but also don’t knock out your sister, kids.

Saint Germain was also not happy to see his new love interest knocked out on the ground, so you wanna take a fucking guess as to what he does next?

“Unhand me you creepy ghost! How do you even see me when your eyes are-?!”

YOU WANNA TAKE A WILD FUCKING GUESS??????

So now Arwen, Scarlett, Lupin, Van, Impey, and Kyoko have been sufficiently coated in bubble wrap, probably for the good of everyone. Naturally, you’d think Victor would do the same to Saint G, completing the chain, but that’s where you’re WRONG.

Victor approached Saint Germain with the bubble wrap, but doesn’t make it very far before Saint G turns and gives him that ONE smile.

You know the one. The only one he has when he's not fawning over Scarlett.

Somehow, Victor gives his bubble wrap over to Saint Germain and does absolutely fucking nothing while he gets wrapped up and tossed onto the pile of cocooned idiots. But hey, at least he’s conscious, unlike the rest of them.

And so, Saint Germain experiences true peace for once in his life.

Until Impey wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: [ Pop! ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVkU8dDSC9w)


	15. Bubble Pop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: [ Bubble Rap ](https://youtu.be/Sxz0w8lRbJc)

“What happened?!?!?” he screamed, thrashing about wildly, “GET ME OUT OF THIS!!”

Saint Germain sighed and continued his book, pretending not to hear him.

Impey’s screaming eventually woke up everyone else, who was equally confused and upset to find themselves wrapped in bubble wrap. Again, Victor was never unconscious, but he’s beginning to wish he was.

“What the-” Kyoko hissed, writhing in fury, “LUPIN!!!”

Lupin chuckled from where he was also neatly packaged beside Arwen. “I’m just as surprised as you are. Which one of you-”

“Scarlett did it,” Arwen jerked her head in her sister’s general direction, unable to point.

“Impressive,” Lupin nods, “But you should really work on your wrapping skills.” With that, he effortlessly escapes the bubble wrap with his thief powers. “Boinko!”

“Dammit,” Kyoko sighed, “Lupin, let me out.”

“No,” he shook his head before helping Arwen out, “You can stay in there.”

“So long as Impey stays in there, I’m fine,” Saint Germain insisted, taking his book downstairs before the chaos ensued.

Arwen then proceeded to let Scarlett out, despite having wrapped her up in the first place. 

“Scarlett,” Kyoko smiled politely, “Please let me out.”

“Hell NO,” she laughed, stepping right over dumbass two to let Victor out, “The three of you can stay right there.” She then went down the stairs to hang out with her bae, Arwen and Lupin following after her.

Van turned to Kyoko, expression blank. “Fuck you,” he said, trying to wiggle his way out of the bubble wrap.

Impey, on the other hand, was inching towards Victor. “Victorrrrrrr PLEASE?”

“No,” Victor insisted, actually standing his ground.

“At least set me upright,” Impey whined, “This is really uncomfortable.”

“Fine,” Victor finally obliged, fixing Impey so that he was standing up. 

“Thanks,” he grinned, before turning to his partner in mischief, “Hey Kyoko. Wanna see me do something cool?”

“Yes,” She nodded, knowing that this could only end badly.

With that, he hopped over to where Van was sitting beside the stairs. Van seemed to realize what was happening before Kyoko did, but before either of them had a chance to react, Impey nudged him down the steps, sending him rolling down onto the first floor. Wait, how did they get on the second floor? Didn’t they get brought in from ground leve-

“YEEHAW,” Impey shouted, launching himself down the stairs. He got some serious air, colliding with a shelf on the way down and sending a dozen of Saint G’s antiques to the ground.

Saint Germain screamed the most unholy scream ever heard, running over with pure rage in his eyes.

“Oh no,” Impey began trying to inch away, but he wasn’t fast enough.

“Victor let me out!” Kyoko protested, “I have to go save my boy!” But she knew in her heart that there was no saving her boy.

“What did you call me?” Impey called as Saint Germain stabbed him repeatedly in the bubble wrap.

“I called you a DUMBASS,” She shouted back, rolling her self towards the top of the stairs. She threw herself down the stairs after Impey and Van, somehow knocking over Saint Germain. “HAHA!” Kyoko laughed triumphantly, “Take tha-”

He shoved her off, looking like he was about to stab the defenseless bubble taco, but instead cut straight through the bubble wrap and then shoved Kyoko onto a nearby chair. “I don’t think Scarlett would take very kindly to me hurting her sister,” he said, in an eerily calm manner.

“Yeah well I don’t take very kindly to you stabbing my boy,” Kyoko huffed.

“HAH! You said it AGAIN!” Impey shouted from where he was still surrounded by the shattered remains of Saint Germain’s antiques.

“SO?!?!??!” she yelled back, before she realized something, “Where are Arwen and Lupin?”

Scarlett spoke up, “You know.”

“She’s still poisonous,” Kyoko pointed out.

“Yeah, and I’m still being stabbed,” Impey reminded, sounding awfully casual about the whole situation.

“Saint Germain, please calm down,” Scarlett finally said, “I’m trying to write.”

Somehow, because of the power of true love or some fuckery like that, Saint G got his shit together and stopped stabbing Impey over some dusty old sculptures he broke. Kyoko then got up from the chair and freed Impey from his severely damaged bubble wrap shell. It would be several hours before someone let Van out, but it was a good several hours that she didn’t have to spent worrying about being knocked upside the head with a gun. Good times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: Not to Burst Your Bubble... But it's B U R S T


	16. He who Shall Not be Named

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: [ Get REKT ](https://youtu.be/vJQhDkpT5aY)

And now for a needed side story of the adventures of the Dumbass duo AKA diabetes.

While the rest of the gang was busy doing god knows what, Kyoko and Impey fucked off on some bullshit sidequest, full of big ol airships, psycho invention stealing scumbag scientists on crack, and awkward romantic tension! They do a lot while everyone else conveniently forgets about them (Saint G remembers they're gone when he notices the lack of explosions), but we don't care about all their stupid adventures right now. We only care that this shithole science-fucker who stole the gravity alleviator gets his smelly ass handed to him on a silver fucking platter.

His name is N*mo. But fuck N*mo.

So there Impey and Kyoko were, on the Nautilus after chasing the demonic love child of Bill Nye and a bag of meth found in a sewer. They've been after this guy for a while, but again, we don't care about that. They get him cornered on the ship and this pond scum mixed with paint water is alllllll out of options. Except to monologue, because that's always an option for him. I'll give you the abridged version. 

"I'M A GENIUS AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME BOO HOO," he screamed, like the pathetic dick he is, "I JUST WANTED FRIENDS AND SO I DECIDED TO BLOW UP THE FUCKING CITY AND USE SCIENCE FOR MY OWN EVIL PURPOSES LIKE AN ASS. CURSE YOU IMPEY BARBICAAAAAA...

....  
Zzz

....

WAIT FUCK HE'S STILL GOING??

...AAAAAAAANE!!!"

Okay, he's done for now. Thank fuck.

Kyoko was not having this shit, "What, you're not gonna curse me too? You coward? Huh?!"

Impey, however, is a better person than she will ever be because he is a sweet boy, and decided to do his best to calm the unholy rage Kyoko was feeling. "Listen, I know you're angry at him, and what he did was definitely wrong, but does that really justify hating him?"

She stared at him in shock, eyes widening. "YES??????? OF COURSE IT DOES!" With that, she started marching towards the crack addicted clownfish, gloves flying off. "Now get out of my way. We're havin grilled fish for dinner."

"OH WOW, HOW BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME THAT I, [redacted], GENIUS SCIENTIST, CAN EVEN BE KILLED?" he bitched, ready to square the fuck up.

"Impey's more of a genius that you will EVER be, you slimy, invention stealing, piss drinking, obnoxious, bullshitting whack-job-" she hissed, cut off by Impey who had now firmly planted himself in front of her, holding her arms. If he slipped he would definitely burn himself, and Kyoko knew that. It was the only reason she was holding still. "Impey-"

"Please. Calm down." Their eyes met, and Kyoko seemed to relax for a second, taking a deep breath. Impey smiled, relieved that they might not need to resort to violence after all, "It's okay, we've already won. There's no need to-"

"Move," she narrows her eyes, expression completely serious. Her obvious determination caused Impey to relax his grip, but he persisted in trying to get her to back down. Sure is nice of that shithole man who can't pull off long hair (or anything else) to wait on them to sort out their problems.

"Kyoko-"

She seemed to understand, wrenching one of her arms away from him to rest it on his shoulder. Face softening, she asked, "Impey... Is it going to make you upset if I kill him?"

"IT WOULD MAKE ME UPSET TOO," god's greatest mistake spoke up, even though no one fucking asked.

"Shut your FUCKING MOUTH," Kyoko snapped, her patience completely gone at this point. Turning back to Impey, she sighed, voice laced with genuine concern for his feelings, "Well... would it?"

"Yes," he nodded slowly, "It would."

"Then I want you to turn around, close your eyes, and think happy thoughts," she instructed. With that, she brushed past him, off to grill up some clownfish. 

Impey reached out, but knew stopping her was a lost cause. With a sigh, he pressed his head against the wall. :Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts.... Just pretend you're on the moon! Yeah! That should do it!:

Without going into too much detail, Kyoko absolutely kills the shit out of Screamy McShitBasket, with fury rivalled only by Arwen's intense hatred for Herlock. Once she finished filleting his ass, she walked over to Impey, wrapping her arms around him without thinking. He jumped, stirred from his intense "happy thoughts" which were actually just him trying his best to block out all the declarations of "FUCK YOU" happening behind him.

"Sorry about that," she confessed, "Had to be done."

"Did it?? That was just... unnecessary!" he stammered, ignoring the very dead body in the corner.

"He was unnecessary," Kyoko retorted, "But now he'll never bother us again. Come on, let's go back home before the others start to worry."

And that's the story of how N*mo got his ass kicked~! Yaaaaay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: GET R E K T  
> Achievement Unlock: Crispy Fish  
> Achievement Unlock: Unlucky fin


	17. Airship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: [ Rather cute this time around ](https://youtu.be/gss4RDHJ7iM)

Time skip to the retreat after rescuing Queen Victoria and Leonhardt from the attack on the palace. Which is really far from this current point. But fuq it.  
And also things happen very differently with there being three of ‘em HOLY SHIT GENTS!!! so things won’t match up to memory.

What you missed.  
-Finis is their brother that looks like a chick, but was just a surprised as everyone else that there's three of them functioning.  
-Arwen still doesn't know the name of Mr.Stoney   
-Mr. Stoney and Scarlett totally had an angsty rut in the bathroom because he's immortal and doesn't give two shits that she freezes his skin because he just heals.  
-Kyoko and Impey have become official partners in crime, increasing risk rates of missions by 500% but also increasing gadget production as that's how they bond. But they also bond over having said gadgets explode.... yeah.... adorable.  
-Van tried to assassinate them all by cooking breakfast. It was Impey who saved the day  
-Arwen and Lupin are obviously attracted to one another but haven't confessed anything.

See you didn't miss anything too major. Just half of the main plot points.   
On we go.

The night was comfortably silent. The airship groaning softly as it kept altitude over Steam London, Which was oddly peaceful despite being mostly destroyed and on fire.  
Kyoko and Impey were maintaining the engine down below deck, Scarlett and Mr. Stoney were keeping look out, Victoria and Leonhardt were asleep, and Lupin steered the ship while Arwen rested on his shoulder tiredly.   
"L-lupin?"  
She spoke timidly,  
Scarlett heard her obviously crushing sister and moved her line of sight to the front of the ship, adjusting her binoculars for better viewing.  
"This is gonna be good"  
She muttered,  
Lupin turned to Arwen with gentle smile that made her chest tighten. Her words catching in her throat as if the poison was now melting her thoughts. She dipped her head down so her hat shades her flushed cheeks from view.   
"You alright?"  
She heard him ask. Mentally melting.  
"I don't know."  
She replied shakily.  
"Being around you makes me feel safe, but it also makes me feel....... ugh I don't have the word right now."  
She pouts, and silently berates herself for her ineloquent confession.

After a low chuckle makes her body go limp, Arwen saw the blur of Lupin's gloved hand pulling her hat further over her face and felt a light pressure on her head through the fabric.

They cherish the moment until a loud screech makes them both jump. A familiar midget's voice coming over the speaker.  
"Lupin has kissed Arwen! I repeat Lupin has kissed Arwen!"  
Kyoko replies over the comms.  
"Hazah!!"  
Meanwhile Arwen was burying her face in Lupin’s cape, her hat in between as to not burn the perfection of his clothes. 

The rest of the trip isn't very remarkable, and soon they part ways with the queen and her lover-I MEAN BODY GUARD!!! TOTALLY!!! WINK! COUGH COUGH!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: Arwensene!  
> Achievement Unlock: MuAH!  
> Achievement Unlock: [ Peepers](https://youtu.be/d0lgswGOgrs)


	18. Mc Finis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: [ Violins ](https://youtu.be/GH-DbRhp4BQ)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read all of Finis' lines with the voice of Mickey Mouse... that is all.

The lab stands before them again. Last time they were here, they saw all the failed attempts of themselves, and Mr. Stoney stabbed one of the Finis' clones. 

This time they fucked up.

So now the sisters have been kidnapped, and are all aboard the fuck ship Nautilus owned by Screamy McShit they killed earlier, but now it’s where their sadistic little brother Finis stays with father Isaac, the machine sphere. Finis being all like “hAhahAHahA we’RE GonNA puT BACK tHE pHiLosophERS STone ANd Have a GRand OLd TimE with dEar OlD DaD.”

And the sisters were wondering how it got this far, because despite their carefree appearances they were worried that something like this was going to happen. Cuz.. well... How could it not? They were, in most people’s eyes, monsters. It was only natural.

But little did those people know that they had finally found out that life was pretty damn cool outside their little hermit hole in the woods. Especially when they had three - five - wonderful guys waiting for them at home.

…

Don’t tell Van and Victor. They love them too, they swear.

Also, waiting might not be the best description. Lupin was nearly chewing his nails to the bed in impatience. Impey was building project after project to try and make a plan of attack. and Stoney was stoney as usual. Victor and Van were moral support third wheels.  
So more like five wonderful guys worrying like hell for them at home.

Anyway, here we go. Suddenly, POV shift. That does absolutely no shift in POV!!

So that’s how Kyoko, Scarlett, and Arwen were made to be kicking and screaming and fighting for our lives. Struggling against the ropes that dug into their arms uncomfortably, Scarlett sneered a bit at Finis who just laughed. If only she could get a piece of her skin free enough to freeze her and her sisters free. 

“Oh sister, what’s wrong? Not so happy to see us?” 

Arwen growled, “Shut the fuck up, why don’t you?” Finis gave a fake gasp before kicking her in the stomach causing both Kyoko and Scarlett to lunge toward him with howls of fury, but Finis merely watched in glee as Arwen panted and quickly regained her breath. 

Kyoko, ever brimming with fiery energy, never ceased her thrashing  
"Let us go before I fuck your face with a stick!"  
She roared.  
Scarlett, currently having her gaze flick between Finis and the others, decides remain calm for now.  
Arwen just hung her head. Taking a moment to collect her scrambling thoughts while Finis continued to ramble on about some useless bullshit.

However her attention was drawn by a cry of pain. Kyoko had bitten Finis' hand.  
"Take that you Bootleg Leia Motherfucker"  
She growled. The doll faced boy looking at her in disgust as he tended his hand.  
"You all are stupid if you think you can actually care for them. We're monsters, we're alone."  
Finis monologues.

"You're alone, we have each other"  
Scarlett corrects.  
"Hm. You do... for now."  
Finis hisses coldly.  
"But when the power of the philosopher's stone becomes activated and we take what we need. There will be no further use for you."

“Try me Fuckboi!”  
Kyoko snapped

“Now now, sisters. We’re going to finally purify the philosopher's stone. Dad is going to be so happy with us.” Finis got this dreamy sort of look in his eye and Kyoko cringed.

“Somebody’s a daddy’s boy.” She whispered to Scarlett before leaning towards Arwen, who was being oddly quiet. “You good?”

“Yeah…” Arwen answered as she moved just enough to grab her sisters’ hands, which they held back just as tightly. Then, as if started because of their action, a sharp pain tore through their chests and they all flinched, twisting in discomfort. earning a merciless chuckle from Finis as his eyes widened, pupils shrinking as his lips pulled in a sadistic grin. Scarlett turned away from him as her mind flashed to her one regret. She tried telling myself it wouldn’t end here. It couldn’t. She still hadn’t told Saint Germain how She… How she felt. And she knew these emotions were real. Even if she wasn’t necessarily human. And Scarlett didn’t even have to look to see that her sisters felt the same. None of them had confessed yet.

Kyoko and Impey were probably the most obvious lovebirds out of all of them, mostly because they both got starry eyed whenever the other one did something. Arwen and Lupin came next for the blatant way Arwen would practically keel over every time he said her name. Or laughed. Or even looked her way. Or did anything really. They were so cute, every single one of them... but just remembering their faces as we’d been taken… 

Lupin had tried so hard to reach Arwen, launching himself into the fucked up gravity without any care of what would come at him. 

Impey had frantically started toying with his machine he had on hand, eventually just tossing it down and running after the airship even though he knew he couldn’t catch it.

And Saint… Scarlett had never seen that look in his eyes before. Hell she’d never seen his eyes before. That wide-eyed blue stare right before he frowned and disappeared, racing up the stairs nearby to try and get high enough to grab her outstretched hand. Needless to say, none of their efforts had succeeded. 

“He’ll come for me.” Arwen’s soft voice jarred Scarlett out of her memories and she glanced toward her determined sister, only able to make out half her face. Finis just looked at her with mirth.

“Who? Your little thief? Sister dear, you can’t love him and he can’t love you. We’re monsters and human emotions don’t work in your pretty little fake heart.” He let out a soft laugh before starting to move away, stopping when Arwen kept going.

“You’re wrong. He’ll come. They’ll all come. Then you’ll be wishing you never took us in the first place.” She hissed those last few words and Finis just glared at her for a solid minute. Then he just shrugged.

“They best hurry then, because you all don’t have a lot of time.” 

Arwen quirked a brow.  
"What?"

"You're almost complete. And so you won't get rescued only to send me on a wild goose chase and then have you transform and be rescued again after I recapture you.... IN THE GLOBE!"

Their father’s metal tentacle arms then proceeded to drop them into a vat of strange liquid straight out of some henti anime and the world changed so that they were back in the old Wales mansion.

"DAMMIT GET US OUT OF HERE!!!"  
Kyoko howls, kicking holes in the walls. Scarlett remains quiet, but frustration is written on her face.

They're stuck for hours, hair changing white after an hour or so. Must be the completion of their transformation.  
doesn't hurt in here though, but their hair now has the same effect as their skin. Why? Plot point I guess????? Don't ask me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: McFinis  
> Achievement Unlock: Ha H A  
> Achievement Unlock: Eaten by the Globe  
> Achievement Unlock: No Isacc Dono Yamate!


	19. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: [Planning Time](https://youtu.be/7qhdsk6aTd0)

POV SWITCH! AND IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS TIME!! But it’s more a focus shift because this is all third person but AHHHHH!

Lupin did his best not to let his worry show as he led the others into the airship, leaving Van and Victor, an unassuming dream team, to fight off the guards. Saint Germain was quiet as usual, but his normal calm wasn’t there. If you even so much as got within three inches of him you’d feel the waves of unease flowing off of him. However to the non-trained, non-Scarlett wave receptors. One would be unable to sense this due to the overwhelming pretentious waves that started within a 2 mile radius of his person. But jokes aside, One guard had made the mistake of getting too close to him, and I don’t think it needed to be said the guard lasted barely a second. That fool got creamed my dude...

Impey, meanwhile, was messing with the machines he’d brought on board to help save the girls, nervously checking every single mechanism to make sure they weren’t going to mess up when they needed them the most. They couldn’t. Not this time.

After bypassing more guards, who Lupin cleverly managed to get his little group to avoid so there wouldn’t be anymore bloodshed, he kept his perception keen for any sign of the girls.

WORKING FOCUS SHIFT

The sisters were all were slumped in the tiny room until voices jogged them out of it.

"Where are they?!"  
"Calm Lupin, I can sense our princesses close by. Hopefully unharmed"  
"They better be. Or I'll"  
"Lupin!"  
"What Impey?"  
"There, they're in there somewhere, but their energy readings are different from usual."  
Totally not written just for the fun of having all the 'there's in one sentence.

The Gents entered the room and froze at the sight in front of them. The three girls they had fallen for floating almost lifelessly inside a vat, faces blank, completely different from their attitudes. There was no sign of Arwen’s fierceness, Kyoko’s silliness, or Scarett’s kindness. They just looked… empty.

Arwen jumped up first.  
"Lupin?"  
Kyoko looks around next.  
"Impey? What's he doing here."  
Scarlett glances around before a dejected look crosses her features. This look dissipated however, after a certain poignant tone drifted to her.

"Here. Though I am unsure of how we'll free them, and their appearance has altered slightly."

Scarlett beams as she hears that voice, but the mansion is filled with yelps when she kicks Arwen and Kyoko in the side, waking them from their restful nap they’d decided to take as soon as Mr. Stoney uttered a sound.

Their elation was cut short however, when the space they were imprisoned in had other plans, the sisters were separated and sent to face their worse inner fears while trapped in a never ending darkness.

Lupin pov aka, the perspective of perfection.

My eyes scan the area for intel. They were right there, trapped under a glassy surface, too far to just be reached for alone. Impey tried to race forward, very ready to yank Kyoko free and never let anyone else touch her ever again, but I stopped him, quickly noticing that the girls’ hair had changed color and that their poison was probably worse. My lip tightens into a firm line, remembering what I’d heard. 

"That globe is draining the power from the stone each bears."

"Which is also their life force so can we save the princesses now! Tell you have something Lupin! All my gadgets are used up, and I couldn't make any new ones without her!"  
The vampire barked, red braid flaring behind him as he moved with expression.  
I see him still slightly as Mr. Stoney, as Arwen calls him, took a hand and grabbed Impey's shoulder. 

With a grateful nod, I go back to thinking aloud. Letting my ideas bounce off those listening as well as my own self as I figure the variables.

"The amount of poison is proportionate to the amount of energy produced..."  
I tap my chin gently.  
"You're forgetting the other two in your explanation Lupin"  
Mr. Stoney addressed.  
I waggle a finger at him, my word choice isn't the damn issue.  
"If we leave her in long enough that she just has the power to survive, her poison will run out."  
Impey whipped around,  
“There’s no time for that! The longer they’re in there the worse off they’re gonna be! The timing is way to risky!"  
My chest heaves in a sigh.  
"It's our best option to fulfill my promise and save their lives."  
I bark back. I don't like the odds either, but the more they talk the harder it's getting to keep count in my head, so I close my eyes and drown them out. Both trying to get my attention fruitlessly for 6 minutes and 13 seconds before I look to Mr. Stoney and address him.

“Okay, Saint, go get Scarlett,”

“Get her... How?”

“Just... get her,” I shoved him in her general direction, “Hurry!”

:She'll take longest like the reserved edgy bitch she is. I mean-! Wonderful, beautiful perfect friend to Arwen she is, don't castrate me Arwen!!!!:  
'i'll think about it'  
A voice sounds in his mind  
:what:  
'Shh, don't want to seem crazy talking to no one do you?'  
I shake my head no time. 1 minute 20 more seconds and I tell Impey to talk to Kyoko.  
“Alright… Go on.”  
Impey quickly dashing towards the tank.  
I wait a whole other 40 seconds before going to talk to Arwen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: Behind the Thief  
> Achievement Unlock: Mind Bind  
> Achievement Unlock: Perspective of Perfection


	20. RESCUE!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: [It's almost the end folks](https://youtu.be/WgjiGDO7_EA)

Pov back to third person.

 

Surrounded by darkness, the voices came in droves to each of them, each a different fear that kept them crippled. The fear of always being alone. The fear of being incompatible. The fear of never being able to be enough for those we loved. All of these things and more knocked down the walls we had created to keep us from getting dragged under every time someone threw around the word monster.

But then the other voices came.

Scarlett’s was soft and distant and comforting, but because HE TALKS LIKE THISit took her forever to hear him and snap the fuck out of it. But when it finally got through, she listened quietly as he droned on for another minute with some change, and with those words came the memories of her sisters, all of the people who proved her fears wrong. She had people who accepted and loved her. All she had to do was reach out towards her aristocratic immortal lover. So she did.

Kyoko’s voice was loud and slightly obnoxious, and because **HE TALKS LIKE THIS!!!** it didn’t take long for her to realize who it was. though so, she needed a little probing to get her out of the safe darkness. But the obvious worry in the usual chipper tone made her realize that all she wanted was for him to continue being the happy-go-lucky boy he’d always been. And if her returning made that happen then she had no qualms about it. Only taking around a minute to get her to reach.

Arwen’s voice was regretful and slightly pleading as he asked if she would return to him. Being her stubborn self, she rejected him, because she knew that relying on yourself would always be safer than worrying about if you could be bound to someone. She remained doll-like until the tone became cross with her a few seconds in.  
"You're lying moron!"  
His voice proceeded to tell her straight up that her worries were ridiculous when she already held his heart in her hand. She didn’t believe him at first, but then her memories came back, flooding her with all the times the man she loved had sent her heart thumping.  
"Lupin!"  
She dove toward his _smooth, sexy voice_ (Arwen’s words, not Kyoko’s nah why would say that?) shortly after, wondering how she ever could have forgotten him? And she makes a note to apologize profusely after they got out of this mess. Even if it only took her a few moments for the whole exchange.

Her vision then clears to see Lupin, glancing to the side to see her sisters being pulled out at the same time she was. assuming Lupin timed it that way as she reached out and hugged him, careful to avoid her hair or skin touching him. She wanted to squeeze him uncontrollably, but she couldn't unless She wanted to end up with a gentleman thief flavoured puddle. Which is the last thing She’d want. But she does wonder what that flavour would be? Oh well, She’ll figure out soon enough. Thus she ended her inner debate as she held tightly to Lupin, who held her just as tightly, and one could see the desperation in his eyes vanish and turn into something tender as he held her back carefully.

Her companions were having similar interactions, but Scarlett’s was the most reserved.

Brown eyes met blue, and a smile broke across Scarlett’s face as she fought the urge to hug him, but ended up doing it anyway, being careful not to touch his skin but still muttering a ‘thank you’ into his coat. He seemed surprised at first, but slowly nodded and held her back quietly, letting her go a moment later to offer a small smile filled with relief as they held each other's gazes adoringly.

The final pair was the opposite of reserved

Kyoko and Impey danced around the small space a little, which was really adorable seeing as neither really knew how to dance, so they held hands and jumped around and spun in circles, dancing a little jig only they knew the steps to. Laughing gleefully.

Cue Mr. Leia Angst McFuckboi who was currently possessed by Isaac, aka Dick.  
"You're very smart for a common cutpurse."  
Dick acknowledged.  
Lupin bows for the compliment.  
"You're welcome. And here's dessert."  
His gaze narrows.  
"Impey! How about we give our old-man in law a gift."  
The vampire acknowledges with a beaming grin, sweeping Kyoko off her feet before producing a remote from Gami knows where and pressing the big red button. 

Dick looked around in shock as explosions rock the globe and destroy his main body.  
"No!"  
He shouts, his influence of Leia Angst McFuckboi ebbing as the dudechick whined about not being loved, So now they’re all okay and safe but Finis is still being a fuck and shouting about how all of them were going to die alone. 

Fun fact, did you know Finis is 4’8”? Because Kyoko didn’t until now and boy howdy does that make her happy.

“Boy, shut your tiny ass up,” Kyoko barked, interrupting his shitty monologue, “We are all loved through the power of friendship!!!!!”

Then the ship gave a very concerning lurch and sent us all stumbling. Quickly finding our balance, except for Kyoko who flailed longer than the others and myself.  
But what was this lurch. Oh, just ‘Mr. Can’t Time Fuses’, back at it again with a late explosion that blasts a hole in the side of the ship. Lupin giving Impey a glare before a cry rang out through the space.

McFuckboi was clinging onto some nearby debris to avoid falling out of the ship. The present members of the merry gang exchanging a look

And so, with a collective cry of ”SUCK MY ASS!” they throw him off the ship. Get fucked, Finis.

Anyway, Mr. Stoney picks up Scarlett and Lupin swiftly lifts Arwen into his arms, Impey already carrying Kyoko. And out the hole they go, taking a dive and soon being caught by the ornithopter, wait, who's flying this thing?

It’s Victor and Van! Appearing to form the “protecc/attacc” squad and save the day!  
*insert really crappy fanfare with a hand trumpet here*

Van grumbles a  
"Look who it is"  
From his spot behind the controls as the six of the rescue squad kerplunk into the cabin, which was expanded after the lack of space noted in the train heist.

Victor catches Arwen’s expression as she forgot their names a moment. Hissing an out of character remark.  
"Oh don't mind us, just the fucking third wheels that made this plan function when those guys went batshit.."  
Geeze! He and Kyoko kinda became friends, but her salt seems to have seasoned him too. 

Say pure Fran, stay pure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: Rescue  
> Achievement Unlock: Reach!  
> Achievement Unlock: Tone Shift!  
> (Yeah that mood shift is because our third writer is a super angst ball and she has a lot of fingers in this one)


	21. Whats 9+10? EPILOGUE!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: [The Place it all began](https://youtu.be/uFgNi4nvWvw)

Anyway, it was about time the gang got a move on so they got back to the mansion where everything would go back to normal. Right? Right?

My friend, you are oh so wrong.

Back at the house, Lupin produces a few pieces of debris he grabbed on his way out Of the Nautilus. Which is as believable as Gilbert grabbing mushrooms as he ran from an oni but it's needed for plot convenience. Anyway back on fandom focus.

Arwen turns as she heard his voice, giving him her full attention.

"Take off your gloves"

"What?"

"Trust me. You too Kyoko and Scarlett, if you don't mind,"

they all do so, still confused. And Lupin hands each a piece of debris scrap metal.

Arwen took her piece and it began to slowly melt as expected, but then it just.... stopped. Huh?!

She looked down and moved her clothes slightly, the stone in her chest was back to normal, she assumed it has been since Lupin pulled her out of the prison, except now it was a pure white as opposed to its former azure glow.  
Her gaze became locked on the fragment in her hands, unable to move. Fearing if she breathed it would all just be a dream or some elaborate illusion.

Scarlett watched as ice crawled across the surface only to realize that… it slowly halted, and instead of looking down her clothes, she merely padded down her front gently, feeling for the general shape of the stone in her chest.

By Kyoko’s surprised screech it would seem hers did the same thing.  
Kyoko's piece was half melted and she also did a stone check like Arwen had. Slapping Impey as he tried to look down her dress, thankfully her effects were gone, as she just acted on pure impulse.

Arwen still didn’t say a word, and Scarlett glanced toward her and saw Arwen staring unbelievingly down at the object before finally meeting Lupin’s soft gaze, tears welling in her eyes.  
“You did it… You really…” Launching herself at him, she let out a joyous laugh, but Lupin had other plans than just a simple hug, catching her and tilting her head up to capture her lips.

Mouth dropping open, Kyoko started to comment when she was caught up in a spin by Impey that ended up in the same exact situation, except when he pulled away she just stared at him dazed. Arwen went back in for seconds.

Scarlett just giggled and clapped, shaking her head fondly. These guys… Her train of thought was halted as a soft hand grabbed her chin, turning her to face those damn blue eyes she’d fallen so hard for, his lips brushing against hers softly as she blushed furiously. 

When Arwen finally pulled back she buried her face in his jacket and took in the softness of the fabric the sound of his heart thrumming in his chest. He makes a small sound of effort to stay upright but otherwise lets her do as she wished. Speaking of which.

"You gave me my wish. Thank you."

Lupin's brows curve devilishly.  
"I haven't completely fulfilled it yet, but you're welcome in advance.~"  
He ends it with a chuckle that had Arwen’s knees buckling and her tumbling to the ground, faster than Lupin could register and help.

Her sisters laughing at her actions before Lupin's voice made them stop dead.  
"You two never told me what you wanted. My offer is still standing."

"I'm fine, I've got what I need. Consider you making her happy as your debt payed."  
Scarlett nods kindly as she spoke with the elegance of an ambassador. Arwen gave her a smile, standing up using Lupin as a support as to not fall back over.

Lupin opened his mouth to ask Kyoko but was cut short.

"ROCKET SHOES!!"

She shouted. The girls exchanging looks as they all smiled. This is the start of a great new life.

And probably an award winning sitcom series.

Lupin paced.  
"Where the fuq do I get rocket shoes?"

But his thinking would have to be put on hold.

“So wait?” Arwen asked, “Are we no longer poisonous... forever???”

“Indeed,” Saint Germain confirmed, lowkey scooting closer to Scarlett.

“All I needed to know,” Arwen smirked, grabbing Lupin by the cape and dragging him off into a nearby fuck-closet.

“WAIT NO,” Kyoko shouted, “DO NOT SOIL MY GOOD CHRISTIAN CRACK FIC! Scarle-”

But she and Saint Germain were gone too, and this time Kyoko had a feeling it wasn’t just to go read quietly on a couch somewhere. Come on guys we’ve been without our powers for three fucking minutes and y’all just can’t wait?.

She turned to the other three guys and pointed behind them, shouting, “OH MY GOD FINIS IS BACK!”

They all turned around, Van pointing his guns at the non-existent threat. Kyoko took the brief distraction as a chance to grab Impey by his improperly worn jacket and flee the scene before Victor and Van knew what the fuck was going on.

And so, they saved the day but unfortunately not the rating of this story. 

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achievement Unlock: Bye Bye poison  
> Achievement Unlock: Bye Bye furnace  
> Achievement Unlock: Bye Bye frosty  
> Achievement Unlock: Boink
> 
> Thank you all for enjoying this fic. It was just some fun my friends and I had a while back. Sorry I lagged on releasing it. But it's all out now!  
> Much love and many happy returns  
> ~Choasblast03


End file.
